Temple of Spiders
by A Horde of Axolotls
Summary: Now that sound was not unfamiliar to the twilight princess. What just made it ten times more grotesque was the fact that it was… audible. And the fact that it was a giant baby spider, and that the only reason it was dead was because of Link's sword buried deep into its abdomen. / Rated K due to slightly graphic descriptions of spider squishing. Also, spiders.


_Squish._

Now _that_ sound was not unfamiliar to the twilight princess. What just made it ten times more grotesque was the fact that it was… audible. And the fact that it was a giant baby spider, and that the only reason it was dead was because of Link's sword buried deep into its abdomen.

Because of currently dwelling in Link's shadow, Midna was thankfully able to dodge the spray of insect insides. Unfortunately, the Hylian was unable to do so, and he gave a short yelp as his already blood-stained, sweat-saturated, dusty tunic was painted once more with yet another creature's guts. A short stream of panicked curses flew from the youth's mouth as he yanked his sword back out of the dead monster's body and scrabbled at the bluish-gray gunk sticking to his front. By now, the imp had detached herself from the boy's shadow, and was watching with a mix between a grimace and a sneer as he only managed to dirty himself more by spreading the spider blood around with his hands. In a brief pause between his steady oaths, she commented nonchalantly.

"You're not helping yourself at all right now, _hero_."

Link gave a growl – a rather animalistic growl, if Midna was going to be honest – and continued pulling at the sticky bits and wringing out the front. The twilit imp glided a little closer through the air, impatience at his lack of a real response edging her tone, "Link, seriously, you're making it worse."

She shut her mouth and backed away, however, when Link went ahead and threw his sword and shield to the ground and yanked the green tunic off over his head, still wringing it out. Crossing her arms in annoyance, she watched with a narrowed eye as he struggled to apparently clean out his shirt. He even pulled out a bottle of hot spring water and poured it over the front – having forgotten it, the water had cooled to room temperature. He glared at the tunic before grumbling to himself and pulling it back over his head, grimacing at the wetness that caused said tunic to stick to his chest and stomach.

Only once he had begun strapping his sword over his back again did he speak up in a seething tone, "I hate spiders."

Midna snorted and zipped a few feet ahead, looking out over the marble room ahead of them. "You're kidding! I never would've guessed."

The hero rolled his bestial blue eyes and shoved his cap glumly back over his unbrushed, matted hair as he followed after her. The imp glanced back at him as he trailed wearily behind her, and she raised a brow. "Aren't you farm boys filthy all the time, anyway?"

Link blinked before responding defensively, his Ordonian accent especially prominent at this point. "Well, aye, but there's so many people dependin' on me – on us – that I can't get sick or anythin' now… so I've got to keep clean." He scanned the room for a moment before turning his gaze back to her and adding grumpily, "Let's just find the statue for the stupid weights back at the entrance."

She laughed sharply and shook her helmeted head. A few minutes passed in navigation before the two paused together to look at the space they currently inhabited. The tall, marble pillars, gold-engraved artwork, and white-washed masonry of the Temple of Time was stunning, to say the least. Midna had never really heard much about the world of Light, but one of the things that was mentioned was the Temple of Time, and how it used to house the Master Sword. How it _should have_ continued to house the Master Sword, but fell into ruin as less and less people made the confusing, maddening journey through the Sacred Grove to its resting place. Frankly, with most places in Hyrule, she begrudgingly had to rely on Link's knowledge of his homeland, and even then, he was not the most knowledgeable.

But even he seemed to know some of the history inside these walls, as he spoke up in an awed whisper, "And to think that the Hero of Time walked these halls…"

Midna gave a noncommittal nod, continuing forward through the air. She was still looking up at the tiled ceiling when she heard the chittering. Lowering her head to look forward, she froze. Behind her, Link gave a choked whimper.

That sound wasn't from a single dog-sized baby spider. There were at least thirty of them, all crowded in the center of the circular room, their legs making soft taps on the floor. And of course, behind the mass of spiders, the statue required to open the gate at the front of the temple was situated on a pedestal.

The twilit imp continued to stare wide-eyed for a few moments before hurriedly flying back to Link's shadow, calling out once she was settled. "They're all yours, hero."

Link was still standing rigid in the doorway, but only a second or two passed before he tightly gripped the Master Sword and tentatively stepped forward. All the spiders paused in their mindless milling, and looked to the boy with singular, human-esque eyes. Link's shadow rattled with a quick shiver, and despite not being fond of spiders herself, Midna had to bite back a laugh at the boy's reaction. But she was quickly forced to stay silent as the hero surged forward with a sharp cry and a broad swing of his sword.

Goddesses, Midna had never heard such an annoying and sickening sound as the high-pitched squealing of slaughtered spiders. She could only imagine the sight as she lay safe in Link's shadow, only able to hear his labored grunts and snarls as he desperately attempted to keep the insects off him. It took the boy at least two minutes before his shadow stopped flailing, and it was only once she heard him panting that she exited said shadow to look him over.

This time, she did laugh when she caught sight of him standing miserably in the center of the room, surrounded by the corpses of bugs and stained nearly beyond repair by their blue blood.

But after the first couple of laughs of hers, she stopped when she realized that he was starting to laugh, too. Normally, this would be fine; in fact, deep down, she rather liked hearing him laugh, since he had become so melancholy and stoic once given his world-saving duty. But this wasn't a normal laugh, this was one of a boy on the edge of losing his composure. She could only watch nervously as he looked over his soaked front, a low laugh bubbling in his throat before exploding out his mouth. It got to a point where he ended up sitting down on the ground, his eyes screwed shut and his lips twisted in a wild grin as he practically howled to the ceiling. He carried on like this for yet another full minute, and she said not a word.

Frankly, it was both awkward as well as worrying.

Thankfully, she never had to slap him to get him to regain control of himself, because eventually he reopened his eyes, and his smile fell and laughter subsided as he looked over the strewn bodies. His brows furrowed after a few moments, and he swallowed hard before looking back at his stained tunic again. Midna sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're not going to be sick now, are you?"

Link, giving a quick shake of his head as he stood up, muttered in stark contrast to his earlier laughter, "No, no, I'm… I'm fine." He raised his hand as if to wipe away the tears that had trailed down his narrow cheeks, but he stopped when he remembered that his hands were just as gunk-covered as his shirt. He tilted his head back a little bit and gave a sharp sigh.

"I, uh… I needed that. I just… I thought of somethin' funny while that whole mess was going on."

Midna raised an eyebrow as she nudged one of the corpses, checking to see if it was actually dead. "Do tell."

Link pursed his lips before shrugging, "Well, it's stupid, but… this is the Temple of Time, right?"

There was a pause as the Hylian let that sink in, before he quickly continued again, a small smile tugging at his dirtied face. "And spiders always settle where no one's been for a long _time_."

The imp paused and looked back at him, blinking in confusion. They maintained eye contact for a few seconds, Link still grinning before he prodded, "Get it? It's 'cause no one's been here in centuries, so it's infested with spiders, and it's the Te–"

"Link, if you ever make a pun like that again, I'll leave you stuck as a wolf for a week."

The boy winced – she'd made good on that threat before –and quickly scurried to the statue, lifting it off the pedestal as he called back to her, "I'll just take this right back to the entrance, then, yeah?"

The twilit imp rolled her eyes and levitated on over to the doorway, the young hero hot on her heels. After a minute or two, however, Midna cast a quick glance in his direction and was met with his melancholy profile. A twinge in her chest surprised her; she had not cared much about his feelings before. Hell, she had stated multiple times that she could not have cared less about what happened to the world of Light and its denizens. And yet now, all she wanted to do was ask if he was alright. She knew that he, of course, was not, but she gave into the weak excuse that it was simply polite of her to do. And so she spoke up, masking her worried intent with her typically caustic, casual tone, "Are you okay?"

Link paused to look up at her, a brow raised. "Other than the fact that my life has been completely turned upside down, I'm hungry and constantly in pain, my emotions are all over the place, and I'm running out of time? Yeah, sure. I'm okay."

Hm. The answer she figured he'd give. Oh well. At least her curiosity had been sated, and that ridiculously strong nagging to make sure he was fine was gone now, too.

But she was stopped in her airborne tracks when Link snickered. "Maybe they should call this the Temple of Spiders."

All Link could do was duck and scamper away as Midna indignantly hurled a pot his way.

* * *

 **Honestly, I came up with the stupid "temple of time = spiders because no one's been there to clean for ages" or whatever at 5:30 in the morning a couple of days ago. That's... that's literally all this is hinged on. A stupid pun. Kind of a waste of time to write/read, huh?**

 **... can we just talk about how mcfreaking nasty those baby Gohmas are in Twilight Princess? Seriously, they just... e _xplode_ when you kill them. Not in the normal Zelda way, it's just like... pure liquid. Ugh. I'd probably lose my crap like Link after taking out thirty of those things... man.**

 **Anyway, on a different topic, I see that a surprising amount of people (6, wowowowowow) are following my Rainbow Six one-shots compilation. Fret not, I haven't forgotten about it! I'm having a little bit of difficulty with inspiration, but I am working on something slowly but surely. Might be about Jackal or Frost, we'll see. That's about all I have to say, R &R as per usual, since it makes me happy. c:**

 **Link, Midna, places mentioned (c) Nintendo**


End file.
